Sunday, February 05, 2006


Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My
Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart a** student turned in the following
book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical
stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a BS artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.

This was sent to me via a friend. Not sure of the author, but he/she should be recognized for some very creative thinking. "My immediate response was it's so true." NG


Anonymous said...

I saw this letter in a magazine:

Dear Dr. Donna,

First the Patriot Act,then he opens a prison in Guantanamo Bay and totures innocent Muslims for information. He has the CIA grab Al Quaeda members off the streets in Europe and sends them to secret prisons neve to be seen or heard from again. Now he's wire tapping telephones and e-mails. Bush is a madman and he must be impeached.
Osama Bin Laden

NewGnome said...

He's on the Democrats talking point mailing list. OBL sounds just like Kennedy, Murtha and Reid. NG

Anonymous said...

Can you imagine what would happen to Cindy Sheehan if she was a citizen of Venezuela and came to the US and got publicity hugging Bush in protest of the Venzuelan Gov't? Probably a firing squad.
Just a thought that came to mind.

NewGnome said...

The Double Standard reigns supreme for fibs. NG

Tori said...

haa haa, thats hilarious. i've had a tough week and that made me smile, thanks.

NewGnome said...

Tori, glad you got a kick out of it, I did too. NG