EMPLOYEES NEEDED: Barak Obama's reign begins soon and applications for employment are being taken. Jobs start January 20th 2009. Republicans and/or conservatives need not apply.
Special Service (SS) command staff: Military training desired if with Chicago political machine politics. Absolute loyalty required directly to President Obama. Personal loyalty oaths administered directly by the President. Marxist or socialist political slants preferred. White affirmative action not applicable. Prayer training five time per day.
Special Services (SS) personnel staff: Crowd control, militancy, and experience with tasers, electrical torture, water boarding and water cannon beneficial. ACORN community organizers with intimidation techniques will receive preferential consideration. Whites affirmative action not applicable. Prayer training five time per day.
White House Praetorian Guard command and staff: Blacks only need apply. Military training with KGB preferred. Jihadist command training also acceptable. Martial arts black belt minimum, mixed martial arts training acceptable, street gang command and capping experience also beneficial. Must be willing to cap command identified persons without regard to race, religion, gender, orientation, nationality or political party affiliation. Must swear mortal oath to Obama during ring-kissing ceremony in the Oval Office upon confirmation of obeisance and genuflection. Prayer training five time per day.
Pentagon Positions: Generals, Admirals, Naval Captains, minorities only need apply. Jihad, KGB, Iran Special Services training and Venezuelan counter insurgency training also acceptable. Obama Loyalty oaths required. Prayer training five time per day.
Lower Command: Colonels, Lt. Colonels, Some whites may apply but extensive background checks by the SS required for all non-minorities. Applicants with more than 3/5% European white Anglo-Saxon ancestry discouraged from applying. Prayer training five time per day.
Send all inquiries to the office of President-elect Barak Obama. WARNING! The office of president-elect does not exist so you may have difficulty finding the address but please be persistent.
So you see, Obama is going to make a big dent in the unemployment numbers by hiring as many as he can.