THREE O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING

It’s three o’clock in the morning. Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has announced the launch of a nuclear bomb aimed at Tel Aviv.

President Barack Obama is awakened. He immediately criticizes the former policies of President Bush and demands an investigation into his administration for embargos against Iran and asks for ham and eggs for breakfast. He then ordered a call to his spiritual advisor Rev. Jeremiah Wright to discuss the slights that America has made against Islam after dinner.

President Hillary Clinton is awakened. She immediately demands a script on what to say and what bed Bill is sleeping in. She then screams at the staff to tell the chef his dinner spinach and tofu souffle was giving her heartburn. She then yells, you can brief me the day after tomorrow at the noon briefing and find out how much Israel donated to my campaign?

President John McCain is awakened. He immediately orders launching interceptor missiles, tells the Pentagon to mobilize and orders nuclear subs to the coasts off Iran. He then orders an emergency convening of Congress. Five Iranian cities are leveled and all nuclear facilities bombed to dust. Iranian Imams beg forgiveness and behead Ahmadinejad in public for his actions and to stop further action.