READING THE HEADLINES WITH NEWSGNOME

OBAMA SUPPORTS GROUND ZERO MOSQUE: Their Mosque isn't an outreach, it's an intentional Islamic provocation to rub America's nose in it, again! If they really wanted comity they would move it elsewhere out of respect for the victims of 911. They certainly aren't creating harmony with what they're demanding in the name of tolerance.
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QUAYLE SAYS OBAMA WORST PRESIDENT EVER: Frankly, I don't even think he's that good.
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TRANCREDO HURTS GOP IN COLORADO GOV. RACE: Maybe the GOP should get their immigration policy right and they wouldn't hurt so much!
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CAL A.G. BROWN PUSHES FOR GAY MARRIAGES: Gov. Moonbeam would be for assimilating Wookies, if he would get him a single vote.
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OBAMA SAYS SOCIAL SECURITY BEING DESTROYED BY GOP: Social Security goes into the red for the first time in history on his watch and he's blaming the GOP….what happened to Bush, I thought everything was his fault.
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QUESTIONS HANG OVER BLAGOJEVICH CORRUPTION TRIAL: Are you kidding, questions hang over ILLINOIS like the sword of Damocles. I keep wondering if Illinois is an American state or a province of North Korea.
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RASSMUSSEN POLL: HALF OF U.S. BELIEVES WE WILL BE NUKED: Hey folks, America is being nuked by Obama as I write, he's just slightly slower than conventional nuclear weapons.
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GALLUP POLL: POPULACE DOESN'T TRUST MAINSTREAM MEDIA: This is news?
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PUTIN'S POPULARITY APPROVAL HITS 59%: How about we trade him for Obama, at least our president would be popular and the policies wouldn't change at all.
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KC FED. RESERVE BANK PRES. SAYS KEEPING INTEREST RATES LOW DANGEROUS: I hear that Chris Dodd and Barney Frank have demanded his arrest because he violated the spirit of their anti-red-lining law.
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RAMADAN BRINGS LITTLE CHEER FOR FLOOD VICTIMS IN PALKISTAN: Here in 911-land, Ramadan brings little cheer here either, anytime of the year.
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GERMANY GROWTH RATE HIT'S 2.2 PER CENT: And to think they used spending cuts to achieve more than double America's growth rate…I think they must be cheating or using OBAMA accounting methods. Something's not right here.
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RUSSIA PUTTING NUCLEAR FUEL INTO IRANIAN NUKE PLANT: And here I thought Obama had solved the "Russian" problem just by sitting down with them and telling them what they should do and smiling.
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FIVE-DAY ABORTION BILL APPROVED BY FDA: Put another nickle-pill in, in the nickle pillodian, all I want is an abortion, an abortion, an abortion.…..Oh put another nickle-pill in……….."
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THOUSANDS OF PATIENT HEALTH RECORDS PILED AT THE DUMP IN MASSACHUSETTS: Not a bad idea, lots of room, at little cost, saving lots of money. Seem the whole Mass. health care system is in the dump already...what's a little more paper?
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OBAMA BENDS OVER FOR ISLAM: OK, I admit, I wrote this headline, but it's never-the-less true.
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CAL PROP 19 WOULD GIVE PERMISSION TO SMOKE POT AT WORK: You mean to tell me it isn't legal already?
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20-MILLION HOMELESS IN PAKISTAN FLOODING: It's obviously George Bush's fault. He's been watering trees on his Texas Ranch again.
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BILL GATES SR. FUNDS CAMPAIGN INITIATIVE FOR INCOME TAXES IN WASHINGTON STATE: You and your son have most of our money already and you want more? You and Junior must be the greediest people on earth. Why don't you give the money your spending on the campaign to Washington taxpayers instead of trying to steal theirs?
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WITH MORE BORDER RESOURCES NAPOLITAN SAYS: "TIME TO REFORM": Let's start the reform with you and Obama resigning your failed administration.
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PROPOSED UTAH ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION LAW CALLED RACIST: Which race is that? More than just Hispanics sneak into America illegal. Sounds to me like the Hispanics have their own racism problem against other races.